Ok... wait, what?

Time is a Bully

Come on clock, go a little bit faster. Just for a little while. Just so its 10 in the morning already. Or 5 in the afternoon in Germany, however you want to see it. Look, you make the next 10 hours... say... 10 minutes. Ok ok, I went too far. Make this next 10 hours go like one hour. Just this time. And I will clean you and get you brand new batteries. I’ll sing for you. I’ll tell everyone you are the best clock ever. I’ll get you some hot, swiss-made clock and hang her right next to you. So.. do we have a deal? No?

Ok... you fuckin bastard! All this years I’ve kept you safe and warm and this how you pay me? You useless piece of shit! ‘tic tac tic tac tic-fuckin-tac loooookatme Im a clock and Im sooooo important because I measure time’.

Fourth dimension my ass!

Fine. Have it your way. Look how much I care. You think I can’t wait ten hours? HA! I can wait fuckin MILLENIA. And I’m gonna show you. Yes I will. YES I WILL.

Shut up. SHUT UP! All of you shut the fuck up!!! ARRRGGGGHH!!!

And then, the once calm and wise man went crazy. He spent the rest of his days alone in a cave, feeding on roots and mushrooms, arguing with his watch and writing fanfic. Until one day, a...uh... a... magical pig, yes a MAGICAL PIG showed up and said –
-Yo! Wazzzup man, how you doin’?
-Oh. Great. GREAT. A talking pig. What on earth do you want?
-Easy man! You gotta loooosen up a little, man. Here, lets see some Star Trek reruns on the Sci-fi channel. Man.
-Star Trek you say?
-Star Trek I say.
-Star Trek reruns? You are a goddamned MAGICAL PIG and Star-fuckin-Trek reruns are all you can offer?
-Yo! Shit man, fine, fine. I will grant you a wish then.
-A wish you say?
-A wish I say. Anything you want.
-Even if I wish to see Star Trek reruns?

-WTF
-Kidding! So yeah, I want to go back in time to the moment I went crazy and then, uh, not go crazy.
-POOOOOOFFF

Wow! I’m back! Oh clock, I’m so sorry I was so bad with you.
-Its ok, no problem.
-WTF

POOOOOOFFF

Wow! I guess it was all a dream? (deus ex machina) That was... different. Anyway, don’t worry, I’m ok. Just that... patience is not something I am good at, and right now I have to wait. I’m not so good at waiting either. The one good thing is that I am quite motivated. Funny how subjective the speed of time is... sometimes a day goes by in the blink of an eye, and sometimes you can actually feel every passing second. I will write some more on the nature of that weird thing called time tomorrow. But for now, its time to sleep and dream of the one I love. I’m looking forward to hear your voice...