Just for you!

Part I

-Oh my, why is this burger so expensive?
-Well, you see sir, there are actually a plethora of reasons. The meat is very special, the cow was born in the summer solstice, and all of her life she was only fed truffles, caviar and champagne. It was then slaughtered by a ninja, for only a ninja can slice with enough precision .The burger was cooked in an adamantine-gold alloy grill, which can only be forged in space. After one burger, the grill is no longer considered pure and must be destroyed and casted into the ocean. Heat came from burning saffron. The lettuce was cultivated in the grave of the hero Achilles. The tomatoes were grown in holy land, and the ketchup is prepared in the Holy grail (in that point, the unicorn blood is added). Bread was baked using the heat of an active volcano in Montserrat Island, (9 men were lost), and the sesame is placed one by one by a virgin born in a full moon, and whose mother, greatmother and greatgrand mother had names finishing in a consonant. After she finish she is killed, just to make sure she will not make any other burger. It comes with french fries.
-...I'’ll have one. And a diet coke.
-Excellent choice, sir.

Rejoicing in the glorious burger, Jim became illuminated, and felt the wholeness of reality. He sublimed into the higher forms of consciousness, and was suddenly freed from the prison of the flesh; for he had reached Nirvana. Then his mind was reformed, and he realised he was in front of a window, curtains moving in a silent breeze, and there was a watermelon. To his left, there stood Charlie Chaplin.
-Welcome --he said-- you are now in a plane of existence which can only be reached by the consuption of a very delicious burger. The Watermelon and the Window are all that exist in this dimension, feel free to contemplate them.

And for eons, Jim did so. Then a further secret was reveled to him, he looked at Mr. Chaplin and he gave him a nod and a proud smile, the kind a father lies upon a son when he understands a lesson not taught with words.

Then Jim jumped out the window.


End of Part I.